I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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