i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
that's an acceptable place to lick
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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