Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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