if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
