Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
