were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
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I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
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theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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