i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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