If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
