im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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