Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
