I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
