I'm jealous of your bromance
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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