I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
