does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
