frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
