If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize