Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
