How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
