I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
