Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
