you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
