Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
