Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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