Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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