i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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