So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
