One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
