i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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