I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
