Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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