I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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