At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
