yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This is the high leading the old right now
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
