i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
