And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
