I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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