I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
