If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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