He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
