I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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