She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
