First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I came so hard my ears popped.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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