if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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