so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
