I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
