Got a toothbrush?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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