A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
