dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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