Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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