i think my mom watched the whole time
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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