You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
