i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
