whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
