he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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