sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
